All things November…

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Congratulations and welcome to Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations well that’s because I only deal with winners.

Happy Holidays to all, I trust you all had a great thanksgiving. If not I did lol. This was the third Fried Turkey Extravaganza I’ve had and once again I am proud. I don’t even eat Popeyes or KFC but I will gladly go up in Popeyes before the upcoming Thanksgiving season. I actually had an episode where I chronicled my experience.

November is a month of many things. It’s the “Time to tighten up for Christmas” Crunch, if you have a lot of leave saved up at your job you are probably counting down the days for your big winter vacation. My man Wayne used to due that lol, shout out to my man Wayne. I remember during my college days I called this guy to say what’s up and this man said he was off until January and it was already December 2nd or something like that lol lol. November is also the month of thanksgiving were we eat good with our family and friends. Also the great game Modern Warfare 2 came out this month. Real talk this is probably the most anticipated game for the year if not the past two years. I haven’t played it yet, but look forward to doing so. I also want to you shout out our veterans for this years Veterans day. One thing I try to do is say thanks to any military dude I speak to. They put a lot on the line for us, and they are part of the reason why we have this great country. I also found out that I had a great uncle that served in WWII. I suggest you all take the time out and find out about your family. For some reason I think I am the ancestor of a great and powerful warrior king, some cool smooth black Conan type of dude who went real hard out here. Yeah to get an assessment for my readers, he was probably the equivalent of James Bond and Conan.

Anyway I’d like to play this classic song for all the military folk and family of the military folk. This song still cranks to me lol, it’s “God Bless the USA” by Lee Greenwood. Real talk I would love if Backyard, Rare Essence, or any band would rock this joint. Que the song. Thanks.

^^ That’s the link of the actual video, but here’s a video w/ the song. Que the song again. Thanks. I have an excellent staff.

Also this month marks the 20th anniversary of the falling of the Berlin wall. I know they were partying hard in Berlin that whole week!
Here is the speech by the late former President Ronald Reagan:

They were out there partying like this here. Play the video for me. Ay Berlin, YOU MAKE THE CALLLLLLLLLLLLL

If you don’t understand how hard they were probably partying and how cised they were, then I want you to think about Rocky IV when he fought against Ivan Drago, and the famous speech afterward.

TAKE THAT YOU COMMIE. Feel the force of this capitalist fist against your commie jaw. Feel the spirit of Atlas Shrugged as Rocky gives Drago who for the sake of this paragraph we’ll call Marx Jr. that Gigaton punch. I’ll show you that everyone should NOT be paid the same sucker!
Here was the famous Rocky speech speech. Yes I know it’s fiction but you take the history of the country then and the energy flowing that part of the movie combined with what Rocky represented and you’ll get a feeling of why the anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down is so important:

Before I continue, the inspiration for the whole Rocky segment came from the fact that the Rocky movies were being played all month and from this cool website

This website here is so awesome, it takes the historic account of certain characters and gives them a cool description. The owner of the site also has a book out, and yes he even has a trailer. I’d also like to state that when I made a post about Conan I quoted a little from this same site, and I plan to get the book later. Here’s to you Ben Thompson

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ALSO, and this right here is very important. I wanted to let yall know how the IRS aint playing out here. As it almost Christmas time, the IRS will want to know if you’ve been naughty or nice this year. Check this article out from the Wall Street Journal.

Is ‘Friending’ in Your Future? Better Pay Your Taxes First

Yeah man, ole’ Uncle Sam is not playing out here. They are on the low checking out Facebook, Myspace, and all them social networking sites. If you out here off your “Paid in Full Brucie B we gettin’ money uptown style” in your photos or info statuses then you might want to be careful. I’d hate to see any of yall even people I don’t know with IRS trouble.

Here are some quotes from the article:

“Meanwhile, agents in Nebraska collected $2,000 from a deejay after he advertised on his MySpace page that he would be working at a big public party.”

In California, which has recently been so strapped for revenue it has had to pay some bills with IOUs, agents are also using social Web sites. When one delinquent was identified as a rigger of sails, a curious collection agent searched his name and the term online and found a discussion board used by local riggers. In one thread someone asked where the rigger was because his store had closed, and a reply was posted, “Oh, he moved across the bay.” The agent found the man and collected a four-figure sum

Searches for tax dodgers typically begin with examinations of bank, employment, tax, and motor-vehicle records. “These new supplements are often far more efficient than the older ones, such as reading the local newspaper or making inquiries at barbershops and church meetings,” said Jim Eads, director of the Federation of Tax Administrators.

Now, when a tax dodger can’t be found, said Nebraska tax official Steven Schroeder, agents often turn to Google. One agent collected $30,000 of unpaid tax from a resident after a Google search found him listed as a high-ranking local marketing rep for a national firm. If a Google online search isn’t productive, agents use the social sites or chat rooms in a last-chance hunt for their quarries.

“Agents are not allowed to ‘friend’ someone using false information,” Mr. Schroeder said. The same ethics rules hold in California, according to a spokesman for the state’s Franchise Tax Board.

“Using social media is something we will explore,” said Jessica Iverson, a spokesman for the Wisconsin Department of Revenue. A spokesman for Oregon’s revenue agency said his state is also “considering it.”

Upon reading this I made this exact same face

I’m not at all advocating cheating on your taxes, but you know the IRS also watches MTV cribs, and all them fly people shows. Who knows who could work for the IRS. It might be a hater who hates to see people doing well, it might be a guy who wants some big promotion at his job. He or she may see your internet pictures or whatever and say “This fool has the temerity to floss like that, I’m going to see what’s what with that guy.” My friends as slow as the government is they will emphatically come after you for taxes.

Be careful, the government is out here like THIS

Until the next time friends, coming soon on Bill’s Bunker, we’re going to talk about the Duane Face project and the soon to be critically acclaimed “Lions, and Tigers, ay Bill For Real?”

Let’s go Andressa.

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The Epic Tale of the Clinton Chipotle

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Congratulations friends, Good morning and Good evening. Welcome to an exciting and exhilarating episode of Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations, well that because I only deal with winners.

Hello everyone, I apologize for the long delay, I know you’ve been anticipating the penmanship of your favorite Chronicler. Who else could take an ordinary tale and put such flare into it. What’s been going on with me, well I had a birthday not too long ago. Yes I was actually born many moons ago, despite numerous beliefs that I just appeared out of thin air or that I came from the sky or emerged from the depths of the ocean from a tidal wave of all that was awesome. Today I have the good fortune to bring you my review of the newly built Chipotle in Clinton, MD. Have a drink or embrace the heat from your fireplace as we find out what happened.

HOLD UP, I had to hijack my own blog, it’s 5:52 and I finished an hour ago but I just had to add this video here:

Lord, thank you for your wonderful creation known as Brazilian women. Not only is this joint bad but she’ll knock you out.

Continue, que the mighty storytelling intro please. Thanks:

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One afternoon upon leaving my uncle’s church my brother and I decided to stop at the Da Potle in Clinton. Why do I spell it like that you ask? Well the food in Chipotle is so awesome that one can only chronicle such a culinary experience as Da Potle.

Now upon hearing about the building of this establishment, I had two difference emotions simultaneously. The culinary enthusiast in me was overjoyed that such a mighty establishment would be so close to my domicile. I want you to imagine being able to reach out and touch a cloud, and then imagine that cloud not too far from where you live. Pretty awesome isn’t it. Well that’s what it’s like. However upon such news, ( I found out officially one day when I actually saw this project in construction) I over stricken with a pang of deep concern and worry. Da potle was to be located in Clinton, that meant it had a high probability of being very ghetto. What exactly do I mean you ask? Well we all know what I’m talking about, I want not the hands of niggas to touch my fajitas.

Now some of you may say “Bill how could you say that?” Now before you get all Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and start rambling off, feel me on this one. You’re going to an establishment where they serve Mexican food, do you want and Keisha’s or Monique’s or Tyrell’s to serve your food or do you want Juan’s, Maria’s, and Manuel’s to fix them joints. If you been to Da Potle you know that their culinary speed goes unmatched, there are no attitudes there are no kids talking on their cell phones just burrito making. I mean the Latin/Spanish folk in there get BUSY, and they do it with a smile too.
These guys don’t even need to know ANY English, all you got to do is point and they understand.

Now there are some establishments that can have a few black people in there as long as their accompanied by my Latin friends, like that one spot in Farragut North right on the corner on 18th or 19th and M st. (Downtown NW DC for all my national and international readers). I don’t know her name but she’s on the line she gets it done. My man Dion of the infamous “DC sports and stuff” blog knows who I’m talking about. Him, and my homegirl “Yellowbird” would have lunch with me when I use to frequent that area. Check my man Dion’s blog out, he had a real good article about how he would rebuild the Redskins. Dan Snyder, I’m sure you read my blogs. You should check it out too, no one will know.

Some of yall still don’t feel me, and you may think “Bill are you racist against you’re own people?” Man I’m just practical, when you go to a soul food place, who do you want to see? You want to see someone’s grandmother from Alabama or North Carolina who goes to a big Baptist church and thumps that “Never would’ve made it” in the place. You want to see someone’s Aunt from Tennessee who knows how to make some banging tea. She don’t even drink the tea out the cup, she drinks that thing out of a big jar lol. How would you feel if you went to a Chinese restaurant and you saw nothing but Irish folks in there off that Riverdance. You wouldn’t eat there would you?

As far as Da Potle in Clinton, when we stepped in I admit I was quite afraid for the results. I told myself if this joint wasn’t up to par I would call the corporate headquarters like I was a concerned shareholder that day. It was no way in the world would I tolerate foolishness in my favorite non 4-5 star restaurant. My heart started to do the 09 bounce. I get to the front and ask for a fajita. The girl then asks, “Do I want a burrito or a bowl.” On the inside I was making this face here.

“You kidding me right. Babygirl if I wanted a bowl I would’ve said bowl, don’t act like you don’t know what’s going on in here. This is PRIMETIME, maybe you need to go back to the NBDL where it’s safe.”

I mean really though, my Latin/Spanish folks wouldn’t have asked that, they would’ve been halfway finished with my fajita by now. However she was assisted by two Spanish angels. Little Maria took over and I knew at that very moment that I was in business. I felt like this here:

I felt a surge of confidence jolt through me, a sense of clarity and good continuity of thought takes over my brilliant thinking process. Overall my fajita was great, however will it be that great next time? Will Maria be there to salvage the situation or will I be forced to be served by Keisha or Monique. Overall Da Potle in Clinton was not bad, they just need help. However not bad is not good enough. This is not some PBJ sandwich, this is Da Potle! I want nothing but par excellence. I want to go in there and feel like this here:

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Look at that excitement! You see how excited everyone is, this is what I want. I want to walk in and feel like I’ve just won the culinary lottery. I’m not disappointed, I just want a priesthood zeal. I’ll give them another chance, however I’ve heard that others have not had the same experience that I had. Such outrages will not be tolerated with your favorite urban chronicler.

It’s amazing that I wrote over a thousand words just about fajitas aint it lol. I mean really, who else could give you this kind of entertainment. Well that there is the end of the epic culinary tale. Until the next time friends. Coming soon from Bill’s Bunker, we will be talking about the IRS, the newest project from my homie Duane Face, and the soon to be Critically acclaimed “Lions and Tigers, Ay Bill, For Real?”

Andressa, you know what to do. Take that Brazilian Bunda and dance us away…..

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WEDDING-GATE

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Back from the Bunker. He’s your favorite Urban American Hero. He’s back from fighting the war on viral terror. He hasn’t forgotten about you, he has returned, the Ill One, the legend of the east coast, the Tarzan of the Concrete Jungle, your hero is back.

Thank you, Thank you.
Hello, and Congratulations and welcome to the resurgence of Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations, well that’s because I only deal with winners.

I want to apologize for my absence. Since around late February I had been fighting the war on viral terror. Yeah, I had a belligerent computer virus. It was a long and arduous battle that wasn’t fought without grave peril but I did not give up and I did not quit. I want to give a shoutout to my homegirl “Barley Oats.” for helping me. If she were military she’d be the equivalent of a Green Beret or a Navy Seal. She fixes computers, I’ll ask for her blog info so we can put it up here, and continue the war against viral terror.

Now what we’re going to do today is tell a story. This story is pretty cool, as I’ll tell it in picture form. I call it wedding-gate because it tells the story of a bare knuckles fighter who attended a wedding and when things seemed to go awry, he did what he has done for a long time, He crashed. You may be saying “Bill you crash weddings?” Well what I do is show up on the humble. It may be an invite through word of mouth by the groom, or word on the street. They’ve all been weddings that were of people whom are my friends, and I don’t suggest you show up to weddings of people you don’t know. That being said on with the story.

WEDDING GATE- This story will be told from the mafia/crime movie perspective such as Carlito’s Ways and Goodfellas. Notice how Carlito after living a life of crime tries to the right thing…………

So I got an invite. Me Bill, the infamous crasher finally gets an invitation. I’ve only got one other formal invitation for a wedding in my life. I talked to my homie the groom months in advance, asked him how do I check it correctly (the invite) and all that. Why you ask? Well after spending so much time doing it illegal, Carlito decides “I’m going straight.” (No nancy). No more crime, I’m going legit, saving up so I can retire somewhere nice.

Fast forward to the reception. T’was a warm and sunny Saturday. August 1st 2009. It was a great day, and I’m blessed to be on my feet. A year ago I was deeply on I.R. and here I am with my walking cane and an invitation. Me, Bill the infamous one. No more crashing, no more of this, no more of that. I’m legit now. So as the pre-reception starts, I get my drink and I see a lot of familiar faces.

Now after a bit of talking and jiving I take a seat at a table amongst friends. All these guys are people I know from college. One of them is a wife of one of my folks from college. Funny thing is that couple there was the wedding, and this very building was where it all started. This was what made Carlito who he was. I crashed their wedding a couple years ago. How did I do it, well I won’t tell on here as there are many young Carlito’s out there who may not want the magician to tell how he makes the elephant disappear if you feel me. However here I am taking a seat at a table with friends after a good drink.

I suddenly look at the table and I see there is a number at it. And I’m informed that we have assigned tables. I’m like ok, it’s all good, I’m legit now. I go to the front to look at the sign and notice my name is NOT on the board lol. I look at it 5 times all while keeping the cool of an iceberg from the pluto of course. I go back to my desired table and tell my man, not the groom but one of my homies. I had been chopping it up with him and his wife and he was the one who told me about the table numbers. I haven’t told him I was going to this blog entry so we’ll call him “NC Jim.” He laughs and says don’t worry about it we got you.

Suddenly, this whole scene is starting to look familiar, funny thing is like I said that this SAME building is the very first spot I “did my first job” so to speak. I go to the board AGAIN, AND LOOK AGAIN LOL. I see 3 of my other homies standing around like something’s goin’ on. They had this demeanor that told me something wasn’t right. Then one of them is talking to the feds (wedding planner) me I’m Carlito. I’m legit but why talk to feds. We all know that can complicate things. I talk to my 3 homies outside and they like yeah it happened to you too. You see while seeing them talk to the feds, I notice their names are not on the list either,they had this demeanor that told me something wasn’t right…..

I tried Lord, I tried. I tried to walk that straight and narrow path, but the life keeps calling me. Just as he makes it out he is again pulled back in. Now I aint no fool. Are the feds gonna believe me CARLITO? “I’m sorry officer I just happen to be at the scene of the crime, I didn’t really DO ANYTHING.” lol. Or the “officer I speak in an accent and don’t have a green card, but I am a US citizen.” lol Yeah right. Are the feds going to be believe me and think that something went wrong on their behalf. Or will they go with what is most likely gut instincts and stop this ruffian from crashing lol. So I did what you think I did…

Here I am doing what Carlito is expected to do.I make a run for it. I don’t talk to the cops. I go back to the table and make sure there are no witnesses. I don’t mean to leave the homies at the scene of the crime, but hey I’d expect them to do the same. One of us has to get away right? Not only do I split but you wouldn’t know why I came to the lobby other than to stretch my legs. Goodbye Coppers!

So I go back to the table no witnesses and unscathed. I tried to do it the legal way but to heck with it. I’m relucent now. Eating some salmon, not only that but of all the people I get served FIRST. I guess she recognized me from the dictionary. You may have seen me there under the word “boss.” I then proceed to get me another drink and enjoy the festivities. I wanted to retire from crashing but maybe I’ll retire some other time. For now let me relax and ponder the day’s activities.

Hey it’s tough being a trailblazer but why live any other way

Until next time, thanks and stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Bill’s Bunker. I look forward to it.

Disclaimer: No weapons were used in the actual events of this story. Being that I mailed in the invite before the dealine, everything may have went fine but why complicate things when you take the appropriate action then and there. Deep down inside I sort of love to fake crash now lol. I want to wish a special congrats to the new Mr and Mrs Saunders. I was glad to be apart of this special day and thank you both for inviting me. Also want to give a shout out to Kamuzu for looking out for me in college, cising my resume, helping me get that “A” in Dr. Osagi’s class just by telling him I know you, and everything else. Tanaya, I always thought you were pretty cool, and I’m glad I was able to make it.

Andressa, you know what to do. Take that Brazilian Bunda and dance us away…..

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Behind every Black Bond is a, a bad woman

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Congratulations everyone and welcome to Bill’s bunker. Why do I say congratulations, well that’s because I only deal with winners.

Good morning, and good evening everyone. Whether you’re on the east coast, the west coast, from Frisco to Maine all the way to Spain, or out there in Bahrain, I’d like to welcome you to Bill’s Bunker. Today will be a great show. Remember when we spoke about who’d be the Black James Bond, well today we are going to talk about who’d be the leading ladies or even ladies to play in that awesome movie. I’d like to warn you if you are at work you might want to be careful. I’m not going to post nude photos but I will be posting some skin, and I know how people on the job can hate because their life slums them being suckers and all lol.

Anyway lets get on with the show. How did I pick these women you ask. Well honestly at first I’d tried to base it on looks AND acting skills but whatever, the good people on the bond sets wouldn’t let them slum the movie w/ sub par acting. Let’s continue. This is in no particular order, I’m just flowing like water.

Let me give you some music as you check out this list;

1) Sanaa Lathan:
You can NEVER go wrong w/ Sanaa Lathan. If you saw her in Alien vs. Predator, then you know at the end of the day Sanaa is going to live. Anyone that can kill anything that has acid blood, can climb on walls, and literally makes the strongest of men run and hind all while gaining the respect of the Predator not only gets my vote but if I comes down to who would I pick to escape an island w/ me then Sanaa is definitely going on my list lol.

2) Ildi Silva (ilda silva)
Next up is Ildi Silva. To be honest I never seen her in any movie but one day I googled Brazilian actresses and her name came up. I googled her and noticed the amount of pulchritude and voila! Here she is. Shorty is tough and you know them Brazilians roll.

3) Halle Berry
Now if you have to ask why Halle, then I’ll answer you why not. I know she was already in a movie but whatever, it’s Halle Berry. Not only is she a great actor, but she already proved herself in the realm of action with the X-men movies, Die Another Die, and Swordfish.
Maybe they could change her role and make her sort of a villain like character. Some kind of sexy assassin femme fatale type character.

4) Gabrielle Union

I really like Gabby. Don’t know if they call her that but do I really have to type her whole name? Anyway not only is she pulchritudinous but she can act. I remember she played the agent in Bad Boys 2, I thought that was kind of fly. Plus she had that corporate power woman role in “Two can play that Game.” I don’t know about yall but if I was ole Morris, I would have got up on Gabby. Vivica was out there lunchin’ playing them games. In the real life version of this movie, if you’re a high powered executive w/ some skills with the ladies and you got joints goosin’ you like they do Morris, AND you got Gabby choosing up on you w/ such Cooperation you would definitely make her your star point guard. Vivica would’ve got demoted.

lol I had to throw in the third one, just had to lol

5) Jessica Alba
I didn’t really like the Fantastic Four Movies. I like the cast they used for America’s most celebrated Super powered family and I like the way they did the visuals for the Silver Surfer, but man if that movie didn’t SUCK. Anyway Jessica did good, it wasn’t their fault it was Hollywood. Hollywood has a nack for doing whatever they want to do for movies. Kudos to marvel for taking creative control of their projects. I’m sure if it were to come out NOW, it’d be cool. Anyway;

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6) Tia and Tamera Mowry.
Remember them? Why did I pick them you ask. Well if you’re a James Bond fan then you remember Bamby and Thumper from the Diamonds are Forever. If you’re not hip this is where Kanye got his famous song from. Not only does his version crank but the old version cranks as well. I might put it in my phone. Anyway how cool would it be to have some evil twin assassins on there or some the main villian to have some sexy female bodyguards. Maybe Bond could fight them in the beginning to have to fight them somewhere in the middle to gain information from a mutually respected enemy. I think that would be fly.

7) Andressa Soares. (pronounced Swarez)
Now if you’ve been living under a rock, I have this lovely vision in the opening in of my show. To be honest I’ve never seen her act a day in my life but I don’t care. She looks good and has an accent. Them accents by the women in the Bond movies is sexy to me.

Here is a video of her. All I can say is that God is Good lol. I know the good people at Playboy are raking it in her somewhere. Props to the leadership that made that happen.

lol Here’s another;

8) Kim Kardashian
I don’t know if she can act, but she is from the Middle East and they produce some winners over there. Plus she has that exotic look. Wholetime she’d probably make a good assassin if she can pull the accent off.

This pic below look like she’ll hypnotize a brother out here like she’ll use them eyes and swindle one of them rich James Bond miscellaneous types for his paper and kill him on the speedboat or something. That wouldn’t happen to James though. He is not afraid to gun a broad down.

9) Esther Baxter
No reason needed, its Esther Baxter lol

10) Stacy Dash
Stacy Dash is one of the toughest joints to walk the planet. If you disagree, slap yourself in the forehead. She can act, and her voice fits PERFECTLY in the James Bond universe. Can you believe she is 43? Ladies, remember if you stay in the gym consistently, eat write and drink a lot of water, you TOO can look slick as you get older. Bill told you can so you can do it.

I’ll go ahead and end it here, but anytime you want me to do another Black Bond girl list, let me know and I’ll run it down. If you have a lady you think I missed, let me know and I’ll put her up next time. Until then enjoy your morning, your afternoon or your night and tune in next time to another action packed episode of Bill’s Bunker.
Remember to leave some comments on not only this one but all my blog entries.

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You’re welcome. See you next time.

The Belated Birthday of Robert E. Howard/Conan the Barbarian

Hey guys Cashmere Bill here. A lot of you wonder why I have this wonderful looking brazilian woman on my blog. Well if you a sane male you really don’t care why it just cises you. Well she is the introduction to my illustrious episodes. That’s right, not just a blog but more so a program; an experience that invigorates your soul and very well being if you will. Anyway if you want to attract ladies like that on the regular then put this link in your browser and yes you’re welcome.

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Now on w/ the show

Congratulations ladies and gentleman and welcome to Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations well that’s because I only deal with winners. If you’re a loser then go ahead and play this horn and get out of here:

Again congratulations everyone on this last day of January I want to give a special shoutout to a looney but genius author. His name was Robert E. Howard. This man was responsible for one of the most iconic fiction characters in history the lengendary Conan. Known to many as Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Cimmerian. If you don’t know about Conan then do either one of two things slap yourself upside your head or scream out thank you because I’m going to fly you in for a second.

About Rob, I never knew to much about Rob until a few weeks ago while I was watching a video on youtube about how they filmed the Conan the Barbarian movie. That movie is so awesome its insane. It’s straight manly all the way to the core but lets chop it up about Rob. It sort of a sad story to me his depression reminded me of the late Edgar Allen Poe, who was also a looney guy but made infamous literature. Rob was born January 22, 1906 in Peaster, Texas. His early life was spent wandering through Texas cowtowns and boomtowns listening to tales of Civil War veterans, texas rangers, ghost stories and such from his grandmother and man former slaves(His ancestry is of the deep south and his family fought with the foolish Confederacy). All of these stories had an effect upon him and later on he developed an ability for writing.

At the age of nine he impressed teachers with his tales of vikings, arabs, battles and bloodshed. He wrote a lot of many different short stories and was influnced by many different authors (To know more you can google him). Rob was very strange and often suicidal. In fact it was said that he thought people were out to kill him. While watching the making of Conan the Barbarian I found out that he claimed to see visions of Conan who forced him to write about him. Conan would tower behind Rob with an axe and threaten to kill him. I know wild stuff huh. He turned out countless stories of Conan and Conan was seen in movies, cartoons, comic books and novels. If you like the live action show, the cartoon and the movie he had and you would like to find some of those movies or some of the old time movies and shows period then go to Click Here! . He also has some video games; one of which Age of Conan. If you need some secrets for that game there then go to Click Here!

Conan wasn’t no ordinary character. He was “that nigga.” Conan wasn’t on no games, my man was born on the battlefield. How ill is that being born on a place of war, you’re birth aint topping that unless you are born on the Hoe stroll during primetime in D.C. or the famous Sunset Blvd. out Cali. Shout out to any Cali readers if you have embarked upon my blog. Conan movies all had the coolest music. That triumphant I’m about to conquer the world music. If you’re looking for triumphant music then Click Here!

Conan came from the Hyborian age form when and I quote, “Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas…” This was a time of wizards, great battles, naked princesses, naked maidens, gargantuan sized snakes, and a lot of your run of the mill bad dudes. Another cool site you can check conan and many other bad dudes is on http://www.badassoftheweek.com/ I love this site man lol. Anyway to some Conan is portrayed as just another strong ox sized brutish dumb barbarian. Personally I think a lot of square folks say stuff like that because they a have of sucker in them. They’re not strong at all. My man Arnold would call them “girly men.” Conan roamed the land as a thief, pirate, outlaw and mercenary. A real O.G triple O.G. type dude. As he grew older he commanded large factions of warriors and later became a king. And his conquest weren’t on no sucker lets save the whales and the oceans and the trees type b.s. either. No, my man Conan was out for personal gain first and often survival making him a more realistic character. He roamed the world as he pleased and had many adventures of wealth and war. Everytime you see Conan he’s posted ontop of a pile of dead enemies and a phat half naked woman. Yeah Conan was a true boss player. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading his graphic novels but I will and can bet woman basically threw themselves at Conan because he was such a G. My man probably demanded much Oblation ( I got this word from a great blog http://topmacknigga.blogspot.com/ also step yall vocabulary game up people. I want you to have eloquent and elegant linguistic skills)

Conan possess many skills let me paste a quote about him;
“Despite his brutish appearance, Conan uses his brain as well as his brawn. The Cimmerian is a talented fighter, but his travels have given him vast experience in other trades, especially as a thief; he is also a talented commander, tactician and strategist, as well as a born leader. In addition, Conan speaks many languages, including advanced reading and writing abilities: in certain stories, he is able to recognize, or even decipher, certain ancient or secret signs and writings. He also has a lot of stamina which enables him to go without sleep for a few days (Bill edit-He ji reminds me of Wolverine).

Another noticeable trait is his sense of humor( Bill edit- He’s a funny dude), largely absent in the comics and movies but very much a part of Howard’s original vision of the character, particularly apparent in “Xuthal of the Dusk,” also known as “The Slithering Shadow.” He is a loyal friend to those true to him, with a barbaric code of conduct that often marks him as more honorable than the more sophisticated people he meets in his travels (Bill edit- he’s a true to the game dude and doesn’t roll w/ suckers). Indeed, his straightforward nature and barbarism are constants in all the tales. Conan is a formidable armed and unarmed combatant. With his back to the wall Conan is capable of engaging and killing opponents by the score (Bill edit-He’ll punish you out here in these streets).”

Sadly Rob committed suicide and took himself out the game on June 11th, 1936. He was only 30 years old. How sad is that, I told you he had issues. Why is it a lot of storytellers are often looney or die young? Sad stuff out here. Me I was always a big Conan fan and to me the lack of these type of shows/movies etc are one of the main reasons why we got so many soft dudes out here. I mean goodness man, all this manbag wearing foolishness. You wouldn’t see Conan with no Manbag or soft stuff like that. Nah man, Conan was too busy trying to get money and impose his bidding on these broads lol. Conan was too busy exploring and expanding his domain doing his Ascension to the throne type activities.

Any let me finally say Rest in peace to the late Robert E. Howard. I never knew you, but I’m glad your works did get put out and even though you were ji looney, you did make an impact upon the world and you would’ve made long scratch out here bruh.

Join us next time for another exciting episode of Bill’s Bunker but before we go here is the complete list of the Conan the Adventurer cartoon episodes that I found on youtube. Shout out to the user who made it possible. Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=BleeeK79&view=videos

Andressa, dance us out of here baby. Congratulations everybody

Hey Bill here again, yeah you see those ladies Conan had on them magazines don’t you. If you want to release your inner Conan and be the man you were meant to be and attract great women then put this link in your browser http://www.women-approach-you.com/cb/?cb=bcashmere9. Ladies if you know a dude looking to step his game up, go ahead and fly him in on that link.

The 10 yr anniversary 1.1.99.

Hey guys, Cashmere Bill here. Do you like music? You know I do, we’ll be chopping it up about music today. If you want to find some slick mp3′s to download then Click Here!

Congratulations, Happy NEW YEAR and welcome to another exciting action packed episode of Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations? Well that’s because I only deal with winners. Before we start I want to give a shout out to MLK. Happy b-day good sir. Tomorrow is the day we observe the birthday of the legend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I don’t even have to tell you, but let’s go ahead and watch his speech right quick. Also this week has a lot going in D.C. We got the inauguration of Barack Obama, our first black president (despite the rumor of John Hanson our speculated president of the Articles of Confederation, he was black too. You didn’t know I knew that did you. I’m ji brillant out here that’s true) and everyone and their grandmother is in town right now. If you out there in the streets partying I want you all to be safe, have fun, be careful and drink plenty cognac.

I’m not going to make you watch his video, but I think it is fitting before we get started in this Bunker groove.

Here is his speech:

Good evening citizens and good readers of the Bill’s Bunker series. The only series that action pack, never wack and smooth like 1738 cognac! First let me start of by saying Happy new year. I would’ve blogged sooner, but it were some issues that I was trying to figure out for the blog and time kept passing and here we are lol. Anyway happy new year again. It’s good to be alive in 2009 and no you don’t have to worry about me coming w/ some weird slogan like “Everything is going to be fine in 09,” or “Right on time in 09″ or “09 is mine.” I don’t knock them but the world is mine anytime and any day of the week. I don’t need a resolution, I only need to set a goal, put the work in and get it poppin’ out here. It may be that simple but it is that simple. You can do anything you want in life and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do, cut them jokers out of your because they are toxic and tell them Ill Bill said you can do it.

I know I promised you all My bond women list for if it were a James Bond movie. Oh I didn’t forget, I’m surfing the net looking for who could not only look great but also could we use a new face or who’d be tough enough to crack some skulls in that movie. If you to take a look at some James Bond movies then go to this link and order you some movies and enjoy yourself with a nice glass of you guessed it, cognac baby! Here’s the link:
<img src="http://www.awltovhc.com/image-3283620-9836599" width="468

Right now I want to celebrate the ten year anniversary of one of my favorite and what is one of the greatest recordings in the history of time. Yall know I love gogo and if you don’t shame on you! Well 10 yrs and 17 days ago the infamous "Backyard 1.1.99 @ the Black Hole," was created. My word, this tape cranked so hard it was just unbelievable. All gogo heads know about this tape. Even people who aren’t really backyard fans know about this time. Man on the real 1999 was a great year for backyard tapes. You had 2.6.99 in NC, 7.9.99, 7.17.99, and 11.19.99 and so on. It wasn’t the absolute best because you can’t just generalize their whole career into one year, but man that was an awesome time to party. I remember when I first heard this tape. I was in high school and I was riding around with one of my comrades, he played this tape and man I went insane. He dubbed me a copy and man just about whenever I was cruising I was thumping this cranking tape here. I only wish I was there, if you were there you know what I’m talking about. The black hole at the time had incredible acoustics and it was to the point where you could recognize a tape made at the black hole without even looking at it.

I sware when I was thumping this tape, it was something about the B side that when Backyard hit the Onyx "Throw your guns," I ji wanted to rap a little. I mean who don’t get hyped listening to Los. You know you ride in the car or you might be sipping and smoking ______(insert what you choose to light here) with your folks, you’d be freestyling to your favorited rap beat? Well if you were a gogo dude you probably freestyled to socket beats lol. If you didn’t freestyle or pretend you were the lead mic you need to go ahead and tell truth;shame the devil. The tape for one opened up w/ the UNIBOMBER!!!! Don’t worry I will let you download this recording, I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that. They hit everything on this tape, of course the ’96′ (the 96 is the year this particular song was made, we call it the 96), but on this tape it was the first time I heard the 99. If you graduated in 99, you were lucky because I graduated high school in 00 and our dope jam ji slummed (I’m not on the kool-aid like some of these tangi’s out here, I can say the song ji slummed as a dope jam. It might’ve been ok for a regular groove but not as a dope jam) The 99 rocked so hard it was ridiculous and then G was using some mic amplifier to alter his voice and it ji sounded like Darth Vader was rocking with Backyard. I swear if you were fortunate enough to be hammered of the might cognac then you probably felt like you were INSIDE the music. If you’re a cognac drinker and you can remember some classic gogo’s then you know what Jimi Hendrix was talking about when he said he could see colors. Man when you’re hammered and you’re partying like that and this type of feeling can only come from live music you feel like you’re in some other world, the feeling is awesome. I could describe this to you in the 09 by being hammered off the cognac and attending the show of What band. Good lord these guys crank. I haven’t seen them in about a year because I’ve been off I.R. (I’m getting better though, so your neighborhood crosscountry hero will be back on the scene like shonuff mixed w/a smooth suave version of Leroy Green) But just get drink and let these guys hit "Rumpshaker" or "Drop the Bomb." Ah man I get a chill up my spine just thinking about that drunken party.

Here are some videos of Backyard just so you know for you out of state people out there:

Backyard Band @ 930 Club for Chuck Browns Bday in 2001:

Backyard Band – Keep It Gangsta ATL 2003: ( I was here, man did we party!!!)

Backyard Band – Pretty Mami: (This is my favorite summer song by them, unfortunately the lighting is bad and you can’t seen anything lol)

BACKYARD BAND @ IBEX 1995: (old video, RIP IBEX. I never got to go here, wasn’t nowhere near old enough anyway lol. Niggas man…..)

Anyway you get the picture, and for a special treat to my readers I’m giving you the link to the mighty Backyard 1.1.99 @ the Black Hole. Who loves ya baby! You can download it at http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XL4KVA8B

That’s all for today. Join us next time for another exciting episode of Bill’s Bunker.

Andressa, dance us out of here baby!

Hey guys, Cashmere Bill here again.Congratulations for checking out my blog. Do you like music? You know I do. If you want to find some slick mp3′s to download then Click Here!

Also do you like Andressa. I bet you do. She’s a bad one huh. If you want to attract some lovely ladies like that then put this link in your browser and yes you’re welcome.

http://www.women-approach-you.com/cb/?cb=bcashmere9

Bond…Black Bond? duh dun duh dunnnn

Hey what’s good people this is Ill Bill. You know what I like movies and we’ll be chopping it up about movies today, if you want to check out some movies then Click Here! .

Heyyyyyyy Heyyyyyyyyy Heyyyyyyyyyy

Happy new year and CONGRATULATIONS, welcome to another action packed episode of Bill’s Bunker. Why do I say congratulations? Well that’s because I only deal with winners.

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening fellow readers and true believers. Yall know what time it is, that’s right its Bunker time, Bill’s Bunker time. Before we get into today’s topic I would like to remind yall that this is the last blog of the year! Don’t cry ladies and gentleman I said that because TODAY is the last day of the year. That’s right its December 31st 2008. Tomorrow will be a new yr. A lot of bamas will come out w/ new resolutions, but not me. Why Bill? Why no resolutions for you, well that’s because you don’t have to wait until next year to change your life and do your thing. You can start today, you can change it February. You should always strive to being a better YOU. LOL Maybe I’ll write a book one day or at least a pamphlet but for now let’s start with this here blogging. However I do like to say that whatever you do tonight be safe and be smart, don’t wake up tomorrow in a holding cell, or in a hospital because you were out here lunching. Drink safe and if need be know your surroundings in case you have to crash at the nearest hotel or motel for the night.

You know I like movies, and a favorite character in and out of the movies has always been James Bond. If you want to check out some fly movies by the way then Click Here! . James Bond is probably the coolest man in the UK. Why Bond you ask? Well in a age of sucka-ism and unmanliness, you can always count on Bond not to be a sucker. Bond is a true Mack. He is always calm and collected. He is smooth, always gets the ladies, and will kill you if need be. Man, James Bond is so cool I guarantee that either he had a black daddy or a black grandfather as a foster parent lol. I mean even to all my non black readers out there, you probably thought deep down inside Bond had the soul of a brother lol.

I always thought what it would be like if we had a black James Bond. As a matter of fact Diddy and Jamie Foxx are really pushing for that role. Diddy is cool but if I had to pick between the two I’d say Jamie because when he was in Chapelle show, he had me cracking up w/ that “Black Tony Blair” accent LOL! However two individuals that I think would do go are Don Cheadle, (He is a great actor and had that english accent in the Ocean’s movie series) and Idris Elba from “The Wire,” and “American Gangster.” Idris is actually British and that would most likely be the best choice because Bond was british, and them brits would probably be mad if we completely Americanized their character like that lol.

If Bond was black the ONLY thing I would change is his choice of alcohol. Martini’s are you kidding me. My man Dion would fry you mercilessly if he caught you drinking that. Shouts to my man, you can catch his blog at www.diego1115.wordpress.com. The black James Bond I know would drink COGNAC. That’s right that almighty yak baby. The only mixed drink he’d order is a french connection. What’s in a french connection you ask? Well its nothing but cognac baby. You see and I’ll let you other races in on this, cool black people we drink cognac. If you’re with us at a holiday party and we’re not sipping, its not because we don’t like you. It’s because you aint got no cognac. Its other black folks that drink other liquor but they’re bamas though. Ill Bill drinks cognac and nothing but cognac, don’t ask me would I like to try anything else. Black bond would walk up to the bar, look that fine bartender in the eye and say, ” Give me a double shot of Remy,” straight or on the rocks because I like it cold. If you want a more detailed explanation of the mighty cognac, let me know and I’ll blog about it.

Some of yall are probably saying Denzel or Will Smith( Personally I think Will would be awesome) but then it wouldn’t be a Bond movie, it’d be a Denzel or Will movie and Denzel would Denzel it up, you’d be expecting him to say something from Training Day, American Gangster or any other famous line he had. While funny, I just wouldn’t want them to make Black Bond like Darnell Bond from In Living Color, let’s take a look at that right quick lol.

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While funny, DEFINITELY not like that lol! Remember this movie has to draw in an audience lol. Another thing they would have to emphasis for Black Bond is the important of a crisp shape up. I’m serious folks, black men don’t play around when it comes to the shape ups. Even if the brother rocks locks, long hair or whatever he is still going to have a fresh beard. Even the bald dudes will make sure they’re beard/goatee is tight. They’d have to show my man rapping to his barber then after he gives him a tip, he’s paged for his next mission. Music wise I wouldn’t change too much, but I’d make sure I’d have a soulful Bond opening song, maybe Al Green or Ronald Isley could do something in the opening. It would HAVE to be smooth just HAVE to. Bond always had cool opening songs in his movies. And of course the leading ladies would be extra bad, I mean extra extra bad. Man oh Man that Bond movie with Halle berry had Halle looking EXTRA good.
On the real I think I will part two this and we’ll chop up what ladies would look real good for that Bond role lol.

Well that’s all for today, I’d like to congratulate you for joining me here in Bill’s Bunker, the place that’s only on the rocks if I have a cup in my hand. Can you dig it? Join us next year as we celebrate the anniversary of the one of the greatest musical recordings in the history of time, and after the leading ladies in the Black Bond role. Maybe I have inspired you to write your own Bond-esque character or movie if so then Click Here! and maybe you can . Don’t EVER let anyone tell you what YOU are capable of doing.

Andressa, dance us out of here!

Congratulations, and happy new year as we leave, some of you might be looking for a James Bond movie or a good movie to watch. If you want to check out a movie then Click Here!